


Updated for the New Millennium (The Sweet Arcade Life Remix)

by saiditallbefore



Category: Wreck-It Ralph (2012)
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Remix
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-29
Updated: 2016-07-29
Packaged: 2018-07-27 10:54:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7615273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saiditallbefore/pseuds/saiditallbefore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a rumor going around that <i>Fix-It Felix Jr.</i> is getting an update.</p>
<p>Not everyone thinks this is good news.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Updated for the New Millennium (The Sweet Arcade Life Remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DesertVixen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DesertVixen/gifts).
  * Inspired by [The Sweet Arcade Life](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1098343) by [DesertVixen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DesertVixen/pseuds/DesertVixen). 



> DesertVixen, I hope you enjoy!

Ralph was being hoisted up by the Nicelanders, about to get tossed off the building, when he heard the news.

“Hey, I heard they’re making a new version of this,” someone out in the arcade said.

“Yeah! The thirtieth anniversary edition,” the player replied. “I just hope they don’t modernize it too much.”

The two continued to talk about bits and graphics and something called ‘old-school’, but Ralph was too excited to listen. Below him, the Nicelanders were whispering excitedly. He really wished he could sneak a look at Felix, just to see what he thought about all of it.

The player was really good, though. She made it all the way to the bonus stage, and it took all of Ralph’s concentration just to do his job. Sure, he’d been wrecking the apartment and getting thrown off of it for decades now, but he didn’t want to mess up now.

After the all-clear was given, everyone in  _ Fix-It Felix Jr. _ congregated in front of the apartment building. 

“Oh, my! An upgrade!”

“D’you think they’ll repaint my walls?”

“What do you think, Felix?”

Felix grinned, but somehow, it didn’t seem as bright as his usual smile. “I think it sounds swell! And, jeez, you know I’d love to stand around and talk with you guys, but I’ve got a date with a lovely lady.” He tipped his hat to the Nicelanders, and began walking to the train.

Ralph looked between the gaggle of Nicelanders and Q-bert characters, and Felix, headed toward the train on his lonesome. “Hey, Felix! Wait up!”

“Hey there, Ralph.”

Ralph waited for Felix to add something else-- a compliment on his wrecking, or a cheerful question about the evening’s plans, or  _ something _ . Felix was absurdly cheerful; it was what made him so popular in Niceland.  Well, that, and the little thing where he was the hero.

“You alright, bud? You seem a little down,” Ralph said as he wedged himself into the train car.

“Truth be told, I’m a little nervous about this update,” Felix confessed, taking off his cap and turning it over in his hands. “Have you ever noticed that newer games always have-- well, not to be indelicate, but the hero often has a-- well, a sweetheart?”

“Oh!” Ralph exclaimed.  “And with you and Sergeant Calhoun, that might be a little awkward.” Felix and Calhoun were so smitten, it was impossible for Ralph to imagine anything getting between them. 

The two made small talk the rest of the way to Game Central Station, where they parted ways: Felix to  _ Hero’s Duty _ , and Ralph to  _ Sugar Rush _ .

_ Sugar Rush _ was as fun and colorful as ever. Vanellope was nowhere to be seen, although Ralph was certain she’d be near the track. She never missed one of the nightly races. But until then, Ralph was content to wander through the candy cane forest.

Sure enough, Vanellope popped into existence in front of him. 

“Hey, lamebrain!” she greeted him.

“How’s it hanging, short stuff?” Ralph ruffled Vanellope’s hair with a soft swipe from his giant hand. Vanellope swatted at him ineffectually, but her grin told Ralph that she wasn’t as annoyed as she pretended to be.

“Well--” Vanellope began.

“ _ Fix-It Felix Jr. _ is getting an update!” Ralph burst, too excited to let her finish.

Vanellope’s eyes grew wide. “No way! Are players gonna be able to be you now? Are they gonna be able to wreck the building, like ‘Aaargh, I’m Wreck-It Ralph, I’m gonna wreck it’?” She made her voice deep and growly for this last part.

“I don’t sound like that!” Ralph protested.

“Do too.”

“Do not!”

“Do too.”

“Do not!” Ralph huffed a sigh, frustrated. He changed the subject. “You really think anyone would want to play as me?”

“Pffft, no.” Vanellope waved a hand through the air. “But no one wants to play the same character all the time! I mean, c’mon, look at my game! There's always new racers and stuff.”

Ralph thought about that: it was true, new games didn't seem to have just one player character, the way  _ Fix-It Felix Jr. _ did. 

“You mean… a new character?” Ralph asked. He wasn't sure how he felt about that. He'd only just made nice with the Nicelanders. 

Maybe Felix had been right to worry.

* * *

“So, Ralph. Is there anything you would care to share with the group?” Clyde looked steadily at Ralph. The orange ghost always made sure everyone in Bad-Anon got a chance to share.

“Uh…” Ralph stammered, trying to think. “Well, I heard there’s going to be an anniversary update of  _ Fix-It Felix Jr. _  So that’s something.”

“An update?” Clyde inquired. The other villains all murmured in indistinct voices.

Ralph rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “I mean, these rumors float around all the time. And even if something does come of it, it probably won’t change anything for me. You can’t have Fix-It Felix without Wreck-It Ralph, right?”

“Wrong!” Ralph jumped, and turned to see who had shouted. Zangief was standing, fists clenched.

“I am good villain,” Zangief said. “Or not good, but-- you know what I mean. And do you know who the villain is in  _ Street Fighter III _ ?”

“I don’t--” Ralph began.

“Not me!” Zangief shouted, pointing a finger at Ralph. “I have heard the players talking about it!”

“That’s a sequel, idiot.” Sorceress rolled her eyes. “It’s completely different.”

“Sorceress is right,” Saitine said, clapping Ralph’s shoulder. “Worse comes to worst, you get a wardrobe update, maybe a new name, maybe a new design, nothing too major.”

“I like my design,” Ralph said. “And I like my name!”

“I’m sure it’ll all work out,” Clyde said. “Looks like we’re out of time! Now, let’s all say the Bad-Anon pledge together.”

Ralph stood and recited the Bad-Anon pledge with his fellow villains, waved goodbye to Clyde, and followed the others to Game Central Station. He looked up and down the station, trying to decide where he wanted to go. He could probably catch the nightly race in  _ Sugar Rush _ if he really wanted, but he wasn’t in the mood.

Instead, he headed to  _ Tapper’s _ . The place was hopping, as usual; it was the best spot in the arcade to hang out with friends from other games. That’s why Ralph was not at all surprised to see Felix and Calhoun off in a corner, drinking a couple of root beers.

Felix waved, and Ralph joined the couple in their corner as soon as he got his own root beer, feeling a little out of place. 

“Hey guys,” Ralph said.

“Ralph.” Calhoun nodded. That was about as warm and fuzzy as she ever got with anyone except Felix.

“So, uh--” Ralph stumbled, looking for a topic.

“Felix says your game is getting an update.” Calhoun sipped her root beer dispassionately.

“Well, probably. People always say things, but--”

“Better start training now,” Calhoun said seriously. “Both of you.”

“Training?” Ralph looked at Felix, but he looked just as bewildered as Ralph felt.

“Kids today aren’t satisfied with fixing a building. They want to shoot the bewilickers out of shiz.”

Ralph thought about  _ Hero’s Duty _ and shuddered. It was fine to visit, especially when everyone was making sure no bugs attacked, but he would never want to live there.

“With respect, I don’t think you’re giving players enough credit,” Felix said. 

“Lots of popular games aren’t violent,” Ralph said. “Players like  _ Hero’s Duty _ and  _ Street Fighter II _ , but they like  _ Sugar Rush _ and  _ Versus Mario Bros. _ and-- and lots of other games.”

Calhoun took a long drag from her root beer. “That may be, daisycakes. But I reckon we’ll see who’s right and who’s a pile of bug husks.”

* * *

As the day of the update-- which seemed to be more than a rumor this time-- grew closer, Ralph grew more and more nervous. Maybe he had been wrong to want things to change.

The day of the update, the inhabitants of  _ Fix-It Felix Jr. _ \-- Felix, Ralph, the Nicelanders, and all the Q-bert characters-- all left the game and spent the day in Game Central Station, so that just in case something went wrong, no one would disappear. And that evening, after the update was complete, they returned to their home, with a little bit of trepidation.

At first, Ralph didn’t notice anything different. The apartment building looked just like it always did. The dump looked just like it always did (or at least, like it always did now). All of the other characters looked normal.

In fact, no one could figure out what had changed, until a player dropped in a quarter in the morning and the music started to play.

“They changed the music!” Ralph exclaimed with a grin. He kind of liked it; he had listened to the old track a lot. 

As changes went, this one wasn’t so bad.

**Author's Note:**

> [I'm on tumblr!](http://saiditallbefore.tumblr.com/post/149998420218/updated-for-the-new-millennium-the-sweet-arcade)


End file.
